


I want to breath you in like a vapor ( I want to be the one you remember )

by xoxoVenomousVenus



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Banter, F/M, I don't think anything happens that's worthy of the archive warning, Josh's internal dialogue is precious, Josh-centric, Maya is technically underage but like, Swearing, Underage Drinking, shawn is an awkward dad, there's seriously so much banter through-out this, this is so self indulgent jfc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7854145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxoVenomousVenus/pseuds/xoxoVenomousVenus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mixture of relief and dread pools in his stomach when he reads it, because he knows himself too well not to know what he's going to do. Josh hesitates, not out of uncertainty, but to allow himself a moment of self-resignation. His thumbs shakily type out a response, and even though he scolds himself for his selfishness, he presses send anyway.</p><p>Abandoned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One.

**Author's Note:**

> So, for this first part I am rewriting Katy and Shawn's wedding a little bit. I get why the TV writers did it the way they did, but I don't have to pay for actors so I decided to write it out the way I see it going. Another little thing that's changed in this, is that Maya, Katy and Shawn all dealt with Maya's anxieties about the wedding prior to the actual event.

_Part 1:_

" _I just need another hit, you're the thing I can't quit."_

Josh doesn't like to admit it, but he's always been a fan of romantic comedies. Romance in general has a particular hold over him, and it's days like this when it really kicks in. Shawn Hunter is getting married, and he looks so anxiously eager it makes Josh's chest feel light.

All three Matthews brothers make up his groomsmen, but Josh was a little surprised, and a lot honored, when he was initially asked. Eric is radiating warmth, while Cory's eyes are already shining with proud tears.

It's such a wonderful thing, he thinks, that Shawn fell in love with the family that needed him the most. He remembers that Christmas, when Maya and Shawn first met, and remembers the cautious admiration Maya developed. Josh feels his heart ache with affection. He's so painfully happy that Shawn and Katy fell in love.

It might be an even more inspiring love story than Cory and Topanga, in Josh's opinion at least. He's probably bias though, after seeing the way Maya's eyes lit up whenever she talked about the engagement.

When his dad comes in to tell them it's go time, everyone chuckles at the way Shawn's face contorts into an endearing nervous excitement. When he sees Maya, she looks so beautiful Josh is positive there isn't a word for it. His stomach flips so suddenly that when he catches Cory's knowing glance he actually flinches.

Not that he's doing anything wrong, Josh reminds himself firmly, he and Maya are strictly friends with the possibility of... _something_. Someday. So for now, Josh takes in that soft smile of hers and threads his arm through hers as they follow Riley and Eric down the aisle.

The ceremony goes by quickly, and when Josh sees the cowboy tear up, he swallows a lump in his throat. He can't help but get a little choked up, though, when he sees the way the couple glows as they exchange their vows. When it's all over, and Shawn Hunter is officially a married man, the rooftop seems to shine. Hugs and congratulations are exchanged as the celebration begins, it's not the most traditional wedding, but Josh can't find a single flaw in any of it.

When Cory pulls out a cooler of juice packets and soda rather than alcohol, everyone in attendance laughs a little, but no one complains. Seeing Mr. Feeny suck a juice packet dry is a memory that Josh will treasure for a long, long time. Inevitably, as music plays and people talk, he finds himself gravitating towards Maya.

When he's finally standing next to her, the dark-haired boy finds himself unsure of what to say first. There are so many things he wants to say, it feels like if he opens his mouth there will be a flood.

"Long game?" she asks, looking anywhere except him, and he feels all of the uncertainty evaporate.

Josh grins, and waits until her eyes are on him to nod. "Long game."

Being next to her is relieving, like a weight had been pulled off his shoulders. They'd been texting a lot lately, so it isn't like he'd _really_ missed her or anything, but it's still nice to actually see her.

She clears her throat, "You know, I learn something new about you every time I see you."

He raises an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? What'd you learn this time?"

Maya shrugs, feigning casual even though he can see the glint of humor in her eyes, "You got pretty misty-eyed back there, honey. Seems to me like you're a romantic,"

Josh swallows down a laugh and smirks, "I'm a bit disappointed then."

Her eyebrows pull together, confused, "Why?"

Leaning towards her, though he's careful not to get _too_ close, "Because I hoped you would have noticed that before, Sunshine."

There's something freeing about being able to flirt with Maya like this. He spent so long making sure to keep himself in check, biting his tongue so he wouldn't lead her on, but it's different now. He knows how he feels about her, and she does too.

Her cheeks redden, but the response is quick, "Good to know. I'll be sure to show up at your dorm with a radio and a rose someday."

This time he does laugh, and the conversation continues effortlessly. Maybe they're a bit more flirtatious than they should be, but this is an important day for Maya and Josh might be a little selfish but he wants her to remember him when she remembers this night.

It's not until Zay is already in front of them that Josh sees him coming. His hand is outstretched and his grin is charming, "Can I have this dance, Ms. Hart?"

Maya rolls her eyes, but it's affectionate. When her eyes go come back to him, she's got her lips twisted upwards. "I'll talk to you more later, okay?"

Josh smiles, but it's painful. "Okay. Have fun!"

She slips her hand into Zays, and they both spare another grin in his direction, before making their way to where the couples are holding one another, moving to a song Josh doesn't recognize. He feels like someone has hit him in the stomach with a rock when as he watches how seamlessly they blend in with the other pairs.

Zay's got his arms wrapped around her waist while Maya's are slung comfortably over his neck. Josh watches as someone else gets to make her hold her close, make her laugh, and scolds himself for feeling threatened.

Because he doesn't want to hate this, he wants Maya to get to experience everything she can out of life, and he knows this is part of that. Even as Josh runs through all the reasons, and there are many, that he shouldn't feel so jealous, he can't help it.

Maya isn't his, he tells himself firmly, and if he can't stop the way he feels, then fine. But he's never going to get in her way.

Despite being resolute in his decision, he can't find it in himself to pull his eyes away from the two of them. Maya really does look beautiful when she laughs.

Josh visibly jumps when he hears a voice behind him, "Real subtle, kiddo."

Whipping his head around in surprise, Josh has to stop himself from clutching a hand over his chest. Behind him, stands the groom, and he's got his lips curved into a sly smirk.

He adamantly chooses to ignore Shawn's statement, throwing out an exaggerated, "Are you trying to give me a heart attack at seventeen?" instead.

The older man laughs, "No. Maybe you would have heard me if you weren't so focused burning a hole in the back of that kids head."

Josh really doesn't think he's ever wished for the ground to swallow him whole as much as he does in that moment. He's reminded of the complete mortification he endured through-out his entire middle school career, and it's nothing compared to the anxiety he feels prodding at his skin now. Because he is highly aware of how important Shawn's opinion is to Maya, and he doesn't want to fuck everything up before they even get the chance to have anything.

His response is a delayed, "Um."

Rather than punch him in the face or scurry off to tell Maya how lame he is, and how should like someone cooler, Shawn just laughs louder. "Relax, Josh. I'm not going to get all protective or whatever. It's not really my style, you know? Besides, I've known you forever. I trust you not to do anything wrong."

Josh's response, once again, is delayed. "Oh."

Clearly enjoying this, Shawn gestures back over to where Zay has lifted Maya ballerina style, much to her obvious delight. "I didn't know that was a thing."

"It's not." Josh answers quickly, before taking a deep breath to clarify, "Well. I. It's not a serious thing, I don't think. They're just the two single friends in their group, so, they like keep each other company. Platonically. I think. Not that it like, matters to me. Cause Maya and I are just friends. Right now. I'm not like expecting her to wait for me or anything. We're living our lives and all that. And dating is a part of that. It's just. I don't think they're like a thing. So. I thought I'd like explain. Or whatever."

He's word vomiting, and he knows he is, and Josh wants to sink into the floor more than ever because he's always been an anxious talker, but it hasn't been quite so ridiculous in years. He's pretty sure he used "like" every other word.

All Shawn does in response is shift on his feet uncomfortably, clearly not having expected the rambling that just occurred, and picks up two cans of soda. A few moments pass by, before he says, "You're a really good kid, baby Matthews. Hold onto that."

Josh fumbles with what to say back, and before he has the chance to respond, Shawn is waving the drinks excitedly at his wife, grinning like he's in love.

"Life knows what it's doing, " Shawn concludes, beginning to walk away with a wink. "Remember that, yeah?"

Great, Josh thinks almost bitterly, and here he was thinking Cory was the one with all the suggestive but vague advice.

A few songs go by, and Josh manages to drag his attention away from Maya. He dances with his mom, who spends most of it talking about how he's her baby and she loves him so much. She's almost worked herself up to nostalgia fueled tears by the time she goes back to his dad. A little later he manages to steal Riley away from Lucas for a song, and the dance is filled with playful banter and Riley excitedly telling him about her re-ignited interest in being a cheerleader. The night goes on, and Josh knows this is going to be a memory he'll treasure.

It isn't until he's lifting Auggie and Ava, one child in each arm, so they can see the stars a little bit better that Maya catches his eye again. She's watching him, with a expression of fondness that makes his heart literally flutter.

Auggie follows his gaze and giggles, "Can you put us down, Uncle Josh? I want to dance with Ava."

The little girl matches her friends laugh, and looks infinitely pleased at the idea, so Josh doesn't hesitate in setting the kids down. As he watches his nephew take her hand, he figures there's nothing quite as heartwarming as puppy love.

After he feels an appropriate amount of time has passed, which turns out to be only a few seconds, Josh begins to stride over to where Maya is standing. His heart basically flops around in his chest when he sees the way her eyes light up as she realizes he's coming over.

"Do you want to dance with me?" he blurts out when she's in hearing distance, before giving the blonde what he hopes is his most suave smile.

When she doesn't take her eyes off him, but bites her bottom lip gently, he figures it must have been at least mildly charming.

"I thought you'd never ask," she says, and though the tone is teasing he can hear the honest undertone. She doesn't give him time to think about it too much though, because her hand is on his wrist and she's pulling him softly towards an empty space.

Maya's places her hands almost cautiously on his shoulders, and he makes sure that his hands are resting appropriately high on her waist. They're arm length distance apart, and Josh is pretty sure that if they put their arms down someone could walk between them. He wants to be closer to her, but he knows better.

Instead, he responds to what she'd said, muttering lowly, "I wasn't going to let the entire night pass without at least asking if you wanted to dance,"

Maya doesn't answer, but she blushes prettily and her glossed lips stretch into a wider smile. If Josh pulls her just a little bit closer, well, no one really has to know about it.

The music playing is another song he can't name, but he takes time to remember a few of the lyrics so he can google it when he gets home. Time passes quietly, but the silence is the furthest thing from awkward. It just feels...intimate.

He isn't an artist, but as he stares at Maya with the soft golden lights illuminating her skin, the way she's meeting his gaze without a hint of hesitation, and the faded freckles across the bridge of her nose Josh understands why someone would want to capture the image. But since he can't draw, paint or take a photo, he settles for committing it to memory instead.

"So." she says, and surprisingly the sound of her voice doesn't change the intensity of the air around them, "This is a totally completely platonic compliment, but you look rather nice tonight."

Eyes glittering with amusement he asks, "A platonic compliment?"

Humming a simple "Mhmm." her face is the perfect picture of mock-seriousness.

"In that case, you look nice as well."

It's easy to see she's pleased, at first, but she covers it quickly with a slightly too-high laugh and sarcasm, "Wow, we've gone from gorgeous to nice? Wasn't college supposed to expand your vocabulary?"

Josh feels his cheeks burn as he resists the urge to rub the back of his neck. He almost wants to laugh at himself, finding it a bit ridiculous at how easily Maya turns him sheepish. It takes him a few moments to retort, and he knows his blush only gets darker when he does, "Challenge accepted, Sunshine. Beautiful, stunning, spectacular, breath-taking -"

Maya cuts him off with a high pitched giggle, and he's delighted to see the flush on her face. He notices, quite suddenly, that the original space between them has lessened. They still aren't quite pressed against one another like most of the other pairs dancing, but no one could pass between them either.

"Alright, I take it back. You know plenty of words."

Smirking, he fully intends to give a response, but the words die on his tongue when she gives him the prettiest beam he's ever had directed at him. She looks so genuinely happy that all he can do is let his mouth soften into a smile.

Josh isn't sure if the heartbeat ringing in his ears is his, hers, or both of theirs, but the intensity of it is enough to get him to move his stare to the dark sky instead. Trying to focus on the song playing rather than the thumping in his chest.

After a chorus or two, he finally glances back down at her and she's got her head down and he can just barely see the movement of her lips as she mouths "Someday," and Josh is entirely sure that if it was possible his chest would have burst from sheer affection alone.

Mind scrambling for some sort of outlet, because oh god _why_ is she this lovely, he leans his head down slightly and presses a lasting kiss into her hair. It's innocent and gentle, but it feels a little bit like a promise.


	2. Part 2

_Part 2:_

" _We'll take another shot, shot, shot  
Cause you know you've got perfect aim."_

It's a few months into his second year, and college is still ridiculously hard. Maybe it's the degree he chose to get, or maybe it's just his overwhelming desire to excel, but whatever it is Josh finds himself spending a vast majority of his free time studying.

He went on a few dates, here and there, but nothing ever seemed to stick. It didn't take him long to realize the reason for it. He was holding every girl up to the standards Maya had set and (obviously) no one was able to meet them. After he realized what he was doing, Josh decided it'd probably be for the best if he just took a break on the whole dating thing, and let it come naturally.

The small group of friends he'd made didn't understand why he'd politely avoid girls who would flirt with him or why he declined their offers for dates, and while they made their confusion well-known, no one really pushed him on it when he made it clear he didn't want to talk about it.

No one had to wait very long for an explanation though, because they all got one the first time they met Maya. Despite her visiting him on campus semi-regularly, due to almost laughably bad timing she'd never ended up being introduced to any of his friends. After a few months of missed encounters, the blonde had accidentally run into them at a coffee shop.

Introductions were made, and she ended up joining them at their table. His friends took to her quickly, which honestly didn't surprise him in the least. Their casual conversation flowed easily, and Josh was beaming with satisfaction.

Answers came when Maya volunteered to grab their orders, and ended up being delayed by a twenty-something barista hitting on her. His friends put the pieces together when Josh shot out of his seat with an almost inaudible growl, and basically dragged Maya back to the table. No one brought up dating around him again afterwards.

It isn't that he's waiting for her, per say, he's just waiting for someone who could redirect his attention. So far, he hasn't met anyone who's done that.

Hence the reason he's hunched over his desk on a Saturday night (or is it Sunday morning, he isn't entirely sure) pouring over textbooks. Really, he thinks, he should try to catch up on sleep if anything. Then Josh remembers the five minute crisis he had during a test when he couldn't remember the key difference between psychopaths and sociopaths, and he tells himself he'll go to sleep in a few more hours.

Blaring chirps pull him out of his resolution, and he scrambles to grab his phone. His roommate might be off in the night somewhere, but Josh is sure the boys on the other side of the thin walls won't appreciate his ringtone at two in the morning.

Without checking the ID he swipes accept with a rushed, "Hello?"

"Hey there," Maya sings, and Josh smiles at the sound. Though the expression quickly drops when she continues,"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm just studying," he says as he puts his book aside, because he knows something is _wrong_. Being unable to place what it is leaves a tight knot of worry in his stomach.

"Josh," Maya's voice pours from the speaker, "I'd be so very grateful if you'd put your rigorous study habits aside for just a little while and come pick me up."

He's listening more carefully now, and suddenly Josh _knows_ what's different.

Baffled, he stutters "Are you...Maya are you _drunk_?"

A silence crackles over the line. Josh holds his breath.

"No." she answers at last. He doesn't have time to be relieved before she continues with, "I'm barely even tipsy,"

The way she slurs the word barely makes him doubt that, but she seems to be pretty coherent. He snatches a pair of proper pants out of the pile of dirty clothes on his floor, and as he's squirming into them he sighs, "What's going on, Maya?"

There's a bit of a pause before, "So my mom has this big audition for a musical next week, right? But she started getting all nervous and worried, so Shawn and I thought it'd be good for her to go upstate and unwind. And of course Shawn went with her, and I have school so I stayed here. Which is fine cause I love my mom and her and Shawn don't spend enough time alone together as it is, but anyway, I got invited to this party and I figured why not go so I went except it sucks. Everyone got super drunk, and guys kept trying to get me to go upstairs and I just. I want to go home."

Listening to Maya recount her experiences with drunk guys makes the knot in Josh's stomach tighten even further, and he sighs. "Can you just - just hand the phone to Riley. So she can give me directions to come get you."

Immediately she responds, "Riley isn't here. I didn't come with Riley."

" _What_?" Josh almost screeches as he snatches his wallet and keys off the desk, "You went to this party _alone_?"

"No. I just didn't want to invite Riley to something like this, she's too sweet." she answers, voice light with an amusement he doesn't feel at all. "I came with some different friends. None of them want to leave yet though."

Josh bites the inside of his cheek and gives an annoyed huff, rushing down the hallway of the floor, "Well maybe that should have been a sign you shouldn't have -" and then there's a sound in the background that strikes up a cold fear across his body, because if he had to guess it was the sound of a glass bottle breaking, "What the _fuck_ was that noise?"

The girl answers quickly, with what he thinks is an attempt at calming him down, "Nothing. Someone inside just threw a bottle of vodka out the window."

He isn't one to swear often, but honestly Josh feels like he's on the verge of some form of panic attack because the idea of a drunk Maya wandering around New York City at night made his stomach churn.

"Fuck." he mutters as he jogs down a flight of stairs. "I want an explanation as to- wait are you drinking something? Oh my god, Maya. What are you drinking?"

Maya hesitates, "I think Amber said it was a rum and coke. She gave it to me as I was leaving, and I didn't want to waste it or anything."

"You didn't want to waste the- are you serious?"

Then suddenly, or at least what feels like suddenly to him, Maya takes in a ragged breath. And when she talks her words sound so utterly sad that he stumbles. "Don't be mad, please. I don't want you to be mad."

Gaping, Josh searches his mind for some way to respond. All he can come up with is, "No. No, I'm not mad, Maya. Not mad at all."

Sniveling, Maya cries out, "I know I shouldn't have come, but I thought it'd be fun. I thought maybe branching out a little bit from my friends, just for a night, would be a little exciting. But it wasn't, I just missed them. But I didn't call them, because I don't want them to be sad that I didn't take them. But then I remembered that I missed you too, and I wanted you to come get me. But now you're mad at me, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please don't be disappointed."

Already frightened and worried about her being drunk and alone, Josh grapples for some idea of how to calm her down. He tempers his tone into something that's, hopefully, more soothing and responds "I'm not disappointed, Sunshine. Everyone does things like this sometimes, it's okay. In fact, I'm glad you called me. Because I'm going to come get you, and take you home."

Wetly, she asks, "You're not upset?"

"I'm actually super impressed you used the word rigorous earlier." Josh encourages desperately, because he really doesn't want to try to decipher directions from her when she's crying, "It's good to know those flashcards I helped you make are working so well."

A sniffle, "You're impressed?"

"Super!" he nods, making sure the words stay soft. "You know what'd impress me even more?"

"What?" she asks, childishly eager.

"If you could tell me exactly where you are right now."

Maya gives out a delighted laugh, "Okay." she recites the address easily, and he recognizes the street name instantly. It's only a few miles away, but Josh still sprints to where his car is parked. The sooner he can see her, make sure she's safe, the better. "But you have to walk down the alley way, and make a right to get to the building."

Keeping his voice even, he slides into his car, "And you're outside right? No one's with you?"

"Yup!" she chimes happily.

Honestly unsure of whether or not to be relieved, he starts his engine. "Stay on the phone with me, okay? I'm in the car now. It shouldn't take me more than ten minutes to get there, alright?"

"Okay, Josh. What do you want to talk about?"

Pulling out of the parking lot, he just wants her to keep talking really. "Anything you want, Sunshine."

Which is apparently all she needs to launch into a nonsensical explanation about the ways to mix paint, as well as casually slipping in detailed comparisons between brands.

Then suddenly, in the midst of her babbling she stops, and he can hear a voice in the background. One that is distinctly male. A pang of fear squeezes his heart, and he practically yell, "Maya? What's going on?"

She doesn't answer him, and this time he does yell, "Maya? What's happening? Are you okay?"

He's considering how likely it is that he'll get pulled over for speeding at two am, when he finally hears Maya, "It's okay, Josh. Just a boy who wants me to come back inside."

Despite how much he wants to fucking scream, somehow he manages to keep his voice soft. "Promise me you won't, yeah? Because I'm coming to pick you up. I'm almost there, I'm on the road you gave me."

The eyeroll is almost tangible in her words, "I'm not stupid, Josh. I'm waiting for you."

The voice in the background is still there, progressively getting louder, and Maya snaps. "Go back inside, I already told you I'm leaving."

When he sees the building number she'd given him, Josh refrains from frantically slamming on the breaks, and instead parks sloppily and yanks the keys from the ignition.

Moving at a full sprint, he doesn't take the phone from his ear until he spots Maya. She's sitting on the steps of some building, an empty glass in her hand, glaring up at a boy in some kind of sports jersey. Hockey, maybe.

Without a seconds hesitation, Josh runs into the space between them. Panting slightly when he says, "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm here to take Maya home."

"Get out of here man," the kid spits harshly, "Can't you see we're having a conversation?"

He's bigger than Josh, taller and bulkier, but he's also swaying just standing up. Even though he isn't a fighter, like at all, Josh is still pretty confident he can win if it comes to that.

As calmly as he can, because this is just some drunk high-school kid acting like an asshole, Josh repeats himself, "I'm here to pick Maya up."

The kids face contorts into something resembling anger, and Josh restrains himself from rolling his eyes. He's never been a wild party animal or anything, but he's had his fair share of experiences with drunk boys. So in the brightest tone he can manage, he starts talking. "Wait a second! I totally recognize you, a bunch of the boys inside were asking for you. They've got a big surprise for you, something about Emma Watson, I think."

Predictably, his vagueness goes unnoticed as the boy thinks for a second, before standing up a bit straighter. The anger bleeds from his face, changing into an excited sort of confusion. "Really, dude?"

Josh nods, and Maya giggles against his chest. "Really."

"Yeah!" the blonde girl exclaims, excited, "Josh wouldn't lie cause he's really smart, and nice, and cute. Isn't he just so cute?"

Before Josh can stop her, she's shakily making her way over to the kid, placing her hands on his shoulders and smiling mischievously, "But guess what? Josh likes _me_. So Emma has to like someone else. Cause someday I'm the one who's going to wear his beans."

The bulky boy nods, as if what she's saying makes total sense. He gives a muttered response Josh can't understand, but Maya seems pleased because she lets go of his shoulders and waves him inside.

As soon as she's without support, she starts wobbling and Josh doesn't hesitate throwing his arm around her waist. She slumps into him with a laugh, "You're so smart."

It isn't hard to see that she's not going to have the easiest time walking back to the car, and he supposes the alcohol must really be hitting her now. So he nudges her slightly, and says, "Walk up the stairs a little bit for me, okay? I'm going to piggyback you back to the car,"

Maya does as she's told, and when he feels her weight on his back he grabs onto her legs quickly. Not wanting to risk her falling. She wraps herself around him easily, and while it's not completely effortless to carry her, it's far from difficult.

Things get a just a little harder though, when she starts running her fingers through his hair. The slight scratch of her nails on his scalp feels so relaxing he legitimately has to swallow down some kind of weird purr.

Once they arrived at the car, Josh turns around and kneels slightly so Maya can crawl into the passenger seat. When he shuts her door, he leans against the car for a few seconds. Giving himself just a little time to embrace the relief he feels knowing she's safe, before walking around to the other side.

He didn't need to bother asking for her home address, having been there a handful of times already. Instead, the drive was occupied by Maya singing along, very loudly, to whatever song came on the radio.

Until something in the distance caught her eye, and she twisted the radio volume down quickly. When he glanced over at her to see what was happening, Josh was met with the most intense puppy dog-eyes he'd ever seen.

"Can we get tacos? Please, please, please?"

Excitement is shimmering in her eyes, and the refusal catches in his throat. He is a weak, weak man and he curses all places that sell tacos at two am. "Sure thing, sunshine. But only one, because it isn't a good idea to eat too much after you've been drinking."

A slight pout forms on her face, and she shakes her head. "The soft tacos are really small. So two of them count for one."

He considers arguing, but decides that if they end up being too big he'll just force himself to eat one as well.

They pull into the small parking lot, and Maya squeals giddily when she finds herself on his back again. With as much dignity as he can muster up, Josh decides that this probably won't be the weirdest thing an employee at a late night restaurant employee has witnessed.

As expected, the place is almost completely empty when they walk in, save for the people behind the counter. Maya starts happily chanting the word taco when they get to the counter, and Josh hates that he's more amused than annoyed.

Flashing an apologetic smile at the worker, Josh adjusted his hold on Maya a little. "Can I please get two soft tacos?"

The man stared at the girl on his back, and his look is sympathetic but entertained. "No problem, it'll be four dollars and eighty seven cents."

Struggling just a little bit to fish his wallet out of his pants, he plucks a five out and passes it to the outstretched hand in exchange for two wrapped tacos.

Walking towards a table, because he's not particularly keen on cleaning food out of his car in the morning, Josh carefully slides a gleeful Maya into her seat before settling at her side.

To his surprise, considering the lack of coordination she'd displayed so far, she didn't make much of a mess as she ate at all. Aside from a few remarks, she at quietly as well, but the happy gleam in her eyes didn't fade and Josh tried his best not to think about the adoration swelling in his chest.

When she finishes, she simply turns around on the bench and holds her hands up with a "Back to the car now, please." and really Josh should be annoyed. He should be, but he isn't in the slightest.

Picking her back up, he makes sure he's got a good hold on her legs and starts walking back to the car. The ride to her house is filled with laughter at the story she decides to tell him about the concert she'd attended with everyone a few weeks ago.

Soon enough, they're pulling into the large lot behind Maya's apartment building. Maya hands him the key to the main door, and before he knows it he's carrying her up three flights of stairs. It feels like it takes forever, but he finally manages to get her to lay down in bed.

Just as he's wishing her a goodnight and turning around to leave, the blonde girl lets out a loud sound of protest and grabbing onto his wrist.

"No!" she says quickly, "Don't go."

"What?" he asks, a bit dumbfounded.

"Please." Maya pleads, and his eyes go wide. "Please stay. I don't want you to leave."

Refusing her, when she's putting herself out there so genuinely, is much harder than it might seem. And really, the idea of staying isn't all that off putting.

"Okay. I'll stay." he responds, dropping himself into the chair beside her bed. The sleepy grin she gives him in return makes his heart pound, but other than that the room is quiet.

"Look," he sighs, figuring it's as good a time as any, "Underage-drinking, especially in high-school, can be really danger-."

"I won't do it again," she says cutting him off, and the words sound honest. "So I'm pretty sure you can save your lecture. At least for tonight."

The words die in his throat, and he slumps in defeat. Because he can't find the will to scold her when she's looking at him so sincerely.

"Tomorrow." he says firmly, like he really believes it. "I'm going to lecture the hell out of you tomorrow. With disappointed stares and all."

The only response he gets is a cheerful hum, and he doesn't bother trying to conceal his affectionate eyeroll. "I'm only staying to make sure you don't hurt yourself or something."

She yawns, her face scrunching up into what is probably the most adorable expression he's ever seen.

"You're not cute at all." he declares, because he feels like lying apparently. "Not even a little bit."

A soft sound of disagreement is the last thing she says for a while, and it's not until he thinks she's fallen asleep that Josh speaks again.

"I was so worried about you, you know. The only thing that kept me from speeding to come get you was that if I'd gotten pulled over it would have taken even longer." Josh pauses, brushing the hair out of her face "I don't know what I would have done if you'd gotten hurt, Maya."

"'M sorry." she mumbles, "I'm glad I called you, though."

"Yeah," he says, "Me too"

Her eyes are drifting closed, and yet even when she's drunk and half-asleep she's still playful, "Careful, Joshy. If you keep saying things like that I'm gonna think you like like me."

Unable to stop himself from laughing, he swiped his thumb gently across her cheek. "I hope you get the worst hangover in history."

Maya just gives a soft laugh, and nuzzles into his touch. From there, it only takes her a few minutes to fall asleep, and Josh can't help the fondness in his chest as he quietly slinks out of the room. Intent on finding some kind of painkiller somewhere in the apartment.

The next morning, when Maya wakes up groaning, there's a glass of water and a bottle of Advil on her night stand, and a sleep-deprived college boy passed out on her bedroom floor. Nothing is perfect, but for a second she finds herself hoping that someday will look like a little bit like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! So that was part two, which I hope you all enjoyed! As much as I adore the idea of jealous!Josh I absolutely fell in love with the concept of a super worried and concerned Josh. Which is basically what most of this chapter was.
> 
> Also can I just say how thrilled I was to see all the positive response from everyone so far! Thank you all so much! I look forward to hearing your opinions on this chapter as well!
> 
> Part 3 Preview:
> 
> [ From: Maya ] Yes, Josh. I'm going to order a tattoo gun online and use the secret circus skills I've been hiding all these years to give myself a tattoo on my back.


	3. Part 3

_Part 3:_

" _I want to print our hands in the pavement._

_Savour your words I won't ever waste them."_

The conversation that starts it all is pretty simple. Maya is lounging on Josh's bed absently sketching something while listening to him recount his day. As he concludes the less than riveting story of how someone spilled their cold coffee all over him, Josh moves to lay down next to her. "So how was your day then?"

The blonde looks his way a few seconds later, teeth grazing her bottom lip nervously. Rather than ask, he lets a minute pass in silence. He's learned it's best to give Maya time to phrase things she's hesitant to share in her head. "I made plans to get a tattoo today."

Mild surprise colors his features, and he supposes he can see why she was a little reluctant to tell him. Probably thought he might give her some sort of lecture, but really he doesn't have anything against her getting a tattoo. Even if he did, it's not like he has any right to tell her what she can and can't do. He's her friend, not her parent.

However, that doesn't mean he can't tease her a little.

"I was under the impression you had to be at least eighteen to get a tattoo," Josh says raising an eyebrow. "Last time I checked you were only, what is it again, twelve?"

Snorting, she kicks at him playfully, "Seventeen, you turnip."

When her leg falls over his, it's so natural that neither of them really give it much thought. "Oh that's right." he nods, tapping his forehead, "Guess the old age is catching up with me. I'm going senile already."

She rolls her eyes, "Why do I even hang out with you? You're _such_ a dork."

"My charming sense of humor? My brilliant blue eyes? Or maybe because I enable your addiction to mexican food?"

It really shouldn't make him feel as light as it does when she laughs, "Oh yeah. Forgot about that last one."

Switching the topic back, he asks, "So what's the tattoo plan?"

"You know that big festival that's being held in a few weeks? The one that's basically a carnival themed rave? Well, a tattoo artist I've been following for _years_ is setting up a booth there. He does the best shading I've ever seen, but normally he's all the way in L.A. So this might be the only chance I have to get him to do my tattoo, and since they only let people above eighteen into the festival, it seems pretty likely he won't bother with carding me."

Taking a second to process the information, his eyebrows furrow in confusion. He cranes his head a little to look down at her face. "But how are you planning to get in?"

"A friend from school and his group of friends said they'd take me. He turned eighteen a few months ago, and all his friends already were, so when the admissions people see everyone's I.D we're hoping they won't focus too much on mine. On the off chance they do, they'll just send me away, so it's not like it's a big risk or anything."

Josh nods, "Sounds like as good a plan as any then,"

Before he can ask her what she's going to get, he's distracted when she shifts and the bare skin of her shin rests against his. When she asks if he wants to watch a video on her phone he can't think of a single reason to refuse her.

So the conversation ends there, a few hours later he drives Maya home, and their lives continue as usual. The subject doesn't even come up again until two weeks later when Josh gets home after a rather breezy day at school. He's about to change into something more comfortable when his phone chirps Maya's message alert tone. Almost tripping over his chair as he reaches for the phone, Josh has barely unlocked the screen before there's another message.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ I finished the sketch of that tattoo I told you about.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Obviously I didn't do the shading, cause that's what I want the artist for in the first place. But here:

The following message was a sketch, and Josh stared at it in mild confusion. Because he couldn't quite figure out what it was. A lone slightly lopsided circle was placed in between two shaky curve that went down into something resembling a cross. The closest thing he could think of was it was some minimalist line drawing of ballerina, with her hands up and legs together.

 **[ To: Maya ]** I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not sure if that's some kind of abstract ballerina or not.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ It does kind of look like that, huh? That's pretty cool.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ But no, that's not what it is. At least not really. It's the planetary symbol for Pluto.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ The reason the shading is so important is because I want the inside of it to have a sort of planet-y texture, you know what I mean?

 _[ From: Maya ]_ And to be fair, it's only ONE of the symbols for Pluto. The other one is some weird design of the letter p but I liked this one better.

Just as with earlier, each text is sent only a couple of seconds after the previous one. Giving Josh exactly no time to respond until she finished.

 **[ To: Maya ]** Oh. Okay. That makes sense.

 **[ To: Maya ]** So why do you want the symbol of Pluto tattooed on your body?

Waiting for a response, it takes about a minute after he sent his message for his phone to start blaring her ringtone. He accepts her call swiftly, placing the phone to his ear with a crooked smile. "What's the matter, miss my voice that much, Hart?"

The sound she makes is somewhere between a scoff and a snort, "Put your ego away, Matthews. I just don't want to spend the next hour typing out a text message."

"Christ," he teases, "You must be really slow at typing."

Josh doesn't have to see her to know she's rolling her eyes, "So it's kind of a long story, but when I'd first met Shawn...I just really liked him, you know? He was the first person who I'd ever really related to. But I'm not in the habits of getting my hopes up, especially not when it comes to other people."

Giving a light noise to confirm he was still listening, Josh let her keep going.

"So I tried not to mess it up as best as I could. But then Riley got involved and well, you know how that goes," Maya sighed affectionately, "She made this metaphor to Pluto that I couldn't explain if I tried, and Shawn agreed to be out there for me. I was still hesitant, didn't want to expect more than I already had. But it happened anyway, and to my surprise, everything worked out. Shawn and my mom have been married for two years now, and I guess Riley's Pluto metaphor stuck with me."

There was a pause, a sort of comfortable reminiscing silence before, "I want to have that reminder. That it's okay to hope for things, because even though you might be let down sometimes, sometimes life doesn't screw you over."

Josh takes in a deep breath, and smiles even though she can't see it. "The sketch looks great Maya."

She doesn't have to be in front of him for his heart to flip inside his chest when she says, "Thank you."

* * *

The next time she brings the tattoo up, it's on decidedly less happy terms. He's just woken up from a much needed nap, and the chime of his phone startles him in his drowsiness.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ You know how I was supposed to get the tattoo this Sunday?

 _[ From: Maya ]_ The friend that was going to take me apparently has to drive to Florida to see his girlfriend this weekend. He conveniently forgot to mention that.

Josh frowns sleepily, imagining the disappointed look on her face. The way her eyes dim down and her mouth falls.

 **[ To: Maya ]** I'm sorry. That really sucks. What are you gonna do?

 _[ From: Maya ]_ I'm this close to doing the damn thing myself.

 **[ To: Maya ]** Yeah. Probably shouldn't do that.

Stretching his arms out with a yawn, he blinks his eyes a couple of times. The inside of his mouth feels dry and heavy, but he's feeling significantly refreshed compared to the zombie-like haze he's been living in the past couple of days.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Yes, Josh. I'm going to order a tattoo gun online and use the secret circus skills I've been hiding all these years to give myself a tattoo on my back.

 **[ To: Maya ]** I always knew you were hiding something.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Trust me, if I am hiding anything it's not as cool as circus skills.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ ack. I really wanted to get it done at this stupid thing.

 **[ To: Maya ]** And you can't go to someone else because you really like the way this specific artist does shading?

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Wow. It's almost like you listen when I say things.

Josh gives a chuckle at that, before shooting off his response. Glancing up at his calendar, he grins when he sees his Sunday is completely unoccupied.

 **[ To: Maya ]** Yeah, I know. I've been told I have a real talent for almost listening.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ You're ridiculous.

 **[ To: Maya ]** What can I say? It comes naturally.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ I just really wish I could get it done, you know? I was so excited.

Figuring this is as good a time as any to offer, he takes a second before pressing send.

 **[ To: Maya ]** Hey. So like. I'm an adult and stuff. Technically. And since it's such a big deal to you, I could try to take you.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Seriously? You'd do that?

 **[ To: Maya ]** Yeah, they might not let us in though. Since chances are they'll actually check your I.D, but we can at least try?

 **[ To: Maya ]** I also don't support sneaking into festivals you're not supposed to be at. But. Shading is a pretty big deal.

 _[ From: Maya ]_ Thank you, Josh. I appreciate it a lot.

He smiles, throwing his comforter off, and sends back.

 **[ To: Maya ]** Anytime, sunshine.

* * *

As it turns out, Maya probably could have gone alone without getting carded. When they finally get to the entrance, after a two hour drive and an hour line, the security don't even bother asking for identification. As soon as Josh says no, we would not like to buy any plush-toy cigarettes, they're being waved through impatiently.

If the wait to get in was an unorganized mess, then the inside of the actual festival is all out chaos. Instinctively, Josh's hand shoots out to grab Maya's, because the last thing he wants to do is lose her in this wave of people. Leaning in close to her ear, he asks, "You know where you're going, right?"

The way she interlocks their fingers feels so natural it sends a slight shiver up his spine. Rather than respond to him she uses her other hand to dig around in her bag. A few seconds go by, and he doesn't pull out of her space. Finally she whips out a folded piece of paper and starts to carefully open it, "Yeah, I printed out a map at Riley's this morning."

Eyes moving over it quickly, Josh isn't particularly surprised to see how large the event is. Maya points at the entrance, where they are now, and he watches as she guides her finger towards a square with an x on it. No one can blame him for huffing out a laugh, "X marks the spot then, I'm assuming?"

Blue eyes roll, but Maya nods nonetheless. Her teeth are digging into her smiling lower lip, and it doesn't take a whole lot of perception to tell she's excited. They both pause for a second, looking at the sea of young adults they're about to enter. Maya's grip tightens on his hand, and in a quick thoughtless gesture he rubs his thumb over her fingers.

Time seems to blur together, because the only thing he remembers about their journey to the tattoo tent is Maya in front of him. Weaving through the crowd of people, gripping his hand, so laser focused on not walking past it by accident. By the time they get to the booth, it's jarring for Josh because surely that should have felt like a longer walk. But then Maya's pulling him in with the biggest grin, and he doesn't think about it much more.

"How can I help you?" a stick of a man asks them as they enter. He's covered in tattoos, piercings and confidence. Maya gleams, thrusting her sketch forward. Josh notices she hasn't let go of his hand.

Instead, she drags him closer to the man, and points at her design. "I know your specialty is shading, and it's really important with this. I want the inside to have a sort of planet texture kind of like…"

Maya keeps talking, explaining her idea to the rather impressed looking tattoo-artist, and Josh tunes out on listening to exactly what she's saying in favor of watching her say it. Enjoying how expressive and open she's being.

After a few more minutes of her giving the artist detailed instructions, he's holding up a small sketch of crater studded terrain for Maya's approval. Which she gives with a gleeful squeal. They discuss the price, and Maya happily hands over the amount they decided on. From there, the only thing left is the actual tattoo.

Half-expecting her to be jittery, he's a bit surprised to see how calmly she sits down. Back facing the tattoo-artist, she grins at Josh as he takes a seat in front of her. At no point has she let go of his hand.

The tattoo artist plants himself down behind her, and tells her what to do and what not to do as he prepares his tools. Josh had been mildly concerned about the cleanliness of getting a tattoo in a tent, but watching the clear professionalism and preciseness the man used to make sure the tools were good, his skepticism fades.

Josh moves his attention back to Maya as the needle approaches her skin, he doesn't say anything though. On the car ride she told him she didn't want to try and talk while getting the tattoo, not wanting to laugh and end up messing up one of the lines. So instead, he offers her a small encouraging smile as the needle makes contact with her skin.

A low hiss rises from her throat, and Josh's eyes widen with alarm. He knows tattoos are supposed to hurt, and that Maya was definitely aware, but he's still a bit panicked seeing the way her face creases in pain.

Seeing the expression on his face, Maya rolls her eyes and squeezes his hand a little tighter. He does his best to remain quiet like she'd asked.

Forty minutes later, the small man sets his tools down and gives a perfect LA smile. "And we're done. You did really good for your first tattoo, didn't squirm at all. I'm going to go grab the aftercare products and run you through what you've got to do, be right back."

Before the man has taken three steps, Maya shifts herself on the chair so her new tattoo is facing him. "How does it look?"

The skin of her shoulder is red where it isn't dark with ink, but Josh feels like once it's healed it's going to look amazing. "It looks perfect, sunshine" he says, and she looks over her shoulder to grin at him.

Malik, which is what Josh is pretty sure the tattoo artist had introduced himself as, comes back and places a thin band-aid over her shoulder. He hands her some sort of bottle, and explains what she has to do to keep anything from getting infected.

Once they're standing outside the tent, Josh waits for her to tell him which way they're going.

"What's the matter?" he asks after a few seconds of Maya not doing anything, "Is it your shoulder?"

Nodding, she gestures to the crowd. "It's pretty sore. If someone bumps into me or something, it'll hurt like hell."

Pursing his lips, Josh tries to think of a solution. Inspiration strikes when he spots a couple, or at least he assumes they're a couple. Pointing towards them he says, "Get on my shoulders and I can carry you like that. No one will bump into you if you're that high,"

Maya laughs, and there's a spark of something he doesn't recognize in her eyes, but nonetheless she nods and waves for him to kneel down. When he does, she's somewhat hesitantly placing her legs over his shoulders. As soon as he knows he's got a decent grip on her, Josh stands up.

The startled sound she makes when he does makes him grin.

It's weirdly easier to lift her like this than giving her a piggyback ride, and so maneuvering his way back to the car with her directions doesn't take much time at all. The sun is beginning to set by the time Josh pulls up at Maya's. It's been about a half-hour since she's said anything, and when the car comes to a stop he finally has the chance to look at her.

She's chewing on her lip again, the way she does when she's nervous about something, but before he can say anything she's looking back at him. The determination in her eyes making the words trip over his tongue, and then she's leaning forward.

Her lips aren't soft, they're chapped and rough from the dryness of the day, and Josh doesn't mind at all. Not daring to move, he stays still and quiet while she holds the kiss to his cheek. When she pulls away, there's a red tint to her complexion, but everything he wants to say is stuck in his throat. The skin she'd kissed still tingles, and for a second he wonders if it'll ever stop.

Maya doesn't mind his stunned silence, because as close as they are, they've never done that before. A cheek kiss is fairly platonic, all things considered, and he's seen her peck Riley's cheeks more than a handful of times. So really, it shouldn't feel half as intimate as it does, but that's the thing. It does.

Drowning in words he can't identify, Josh just stares. Maya doesn't appear offended or dejected, so he hopes he's at least managed to express that none of his feelings are bad, just uncertain.

Hand reaching for the handle to her door, Maya peers up at him once more and beams, "Goodnight, Josh."

She's gone long before he finally manages to say the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I just got a new Pokemon game and I've been distracted by that xD
> 
> And before anyone says something about it being unrealistic that Maya would have gotten her tattoo this way, this is the exact way my friend got hers done (minus the cute boy ofc). But anyway~ I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Be sure to let me know what you thought in the reviews so I can be sure to improve the next chapter as well!
> 
> If you want to see a sketch I did of what I thought the tattoo outline would look like, you can find it here: http://xoxovenomousvenus.tumblr.com/post/150359218736/a-little-sketch-i-did-for-mayas-tattoo-in-the. 
> 
> Preview:
> 
> Josh arrives at his brothers apartment ten minutes earlier than he was planning to, which is still another ten minutes earlier than he was told to, and tries not to panic when he sees that everyone is already in the living room. Is it just him or are they all staring at him like he's just kicked a puppy?


End file.
